


oh, tangled and messy

by coiledrage



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Bonding, Coming Out, Demisexual!Neil, F/M, M/M, Multi, foxes react, listen im a sucker for foxes react ok this is indeed self indulgent, soft, soft andriel too im just crazy like that, yes i said soft foxes rights and what about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coiledrage/pseuds/coiledrage
Summary: a collection of fox ficsnone of this is in order and each chapter is a stand-alone. it’s a mess, but that’s kinda the whole point :)
Relationships: Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Renee Walker/Allison Reynolds
Comments: 15
Kudos: 173





	1. habitual warmth

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is gonna be where i dump all of my 3am fox fics that i write spur of the moment in a sleep-deprived flurry :) i hope you enjoy !! and for future chapters please feel free to tell me what content i should add warnings for !! thank you :))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andrew and neil are soft, and “insufferable” if you ask aaron. if you ask nicky, he’d say they’re warm.

“neil? you alright, buddy?”

the sound of a crash reverberates throughout the columbia house. a loud _shush_ follows it, then smothered laughter. nicky leans his hip against the bathroom’s doorframe, waiting.

neil josten, honest to god, fucking _giggles_ as he opens the bathroom door with a wide, lopsided smile and nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. his scars are on full display under the sunlight as it streams through the hallway window and he looks unbothered and unashamed. his auburn curls are dripping wet and flat against his forehead. “i am _more_ than alright, nicky. we’ll be-“ he pauses to press his fist to his mouth, chiding himself silently, “ _i’ll_ be right out.”

nicky sighs, but he’s smiling, too. he says, exasperatedly, “you crazy kids are gonna be the death of me.”

neil proceeds to laugh all over again, high and elated in his throat as he turns and closes the door gently in nicky’s face. nicky mutters, “they’re almost as bad as me and erik.” to himself before he rejoins kevin and aaron in the living room.

“josten dead yet?” aaron asks, eyes on the television, intently watching _angels and demons._

“oh, no.” he chuckles, lips curling into a mischievous grin. “andrew is taking his sweet time killing him, from the sound of it. really drawin’ that murder out.”

aaron grimaced, meeting nicky’s amused eyes with his usual brand of disgust, “gross, nicky. i don’t need all the fucking details.”

nicky shrugged and gave his arm a good-natured punch. “too late for that. neil is _exuberant_ today. you’re gonna _see_ all the fucking details.”

aaron scowled.

kevin said, “shut up, this is the good part.”

“it’s all the good part to you, you fucking nerd.”

neil and andrew finally made their way down the stairs, fully dressed and everything. neil, still smiling and laughing into andrew’s neck, and andrew, pulling him closer and talking lowly into his ear. they sit imposible close together on the sofa beside nicky. neil is practically in andrew’s lap. andrew is deliberately facing the tv and pretending he can’t see neil out of the corner of his eye, staring at him, enamored.

nicky grinned some more, positively giddy. aaron’s scowl deepened.

neil turned his mouth away from andrew’s cheek after kissing it soundly to say, “what’re we watching?”

“ _we’re_ watching a movie. _you two_ can leave if you’re gonna be this annoying.” kevin said, eyes on the screen and pointedly away from the way andrew leans into neil’s affectionate kisses.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.” neil replied, and to his credit, he _did_ sound awfully confused.

“yeah,” andrew agreed, blank faced and dull-toned. neil pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his jaw as he continued, “me neither.”

“god, you’re both insufferable.” aaron sighed, aiming a cushion at the side of neil’s head. neil effortlessly batted it away. aaron sighed once more and grumpily stomped into the kitchen.

neil said, “what’s his problem?”

andrew turned toward him to shrug and dig his thumb into the hollow of neil’s throat. neil leaned into the touch, smiling gently, like it was habitual to look at andrew with all of that warmth and softness. andrew said, “not a clue.”

nicky laughed, “sure.”

andrew pointedly didn’t meet his eyes.

it was a good day.


	2. home and other tragedies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how would andrew react to cass dying? how would neil fair under the weight of andrew and his gone-ness and his destructive grief? maybe he’ll allow himself to rely on some family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda sad and it mentions death :/ but mostly it’s neil learning how to rely on his family and let himself feel shitty without feeling guilty :)

it’s raining outside. on a regular day, neil would ignore the rain, stay inside and bother andrew for a few hours. maybe they’d trade kisses in the grey light, explore each other to the trickling sound of water against the window pane. today is not a regular day, and besides, andrew isn’t home. home. it’s a foreign word to neil. he’d started to associate it with the smell of andrew’s soap and the warmth of his firm hands. he wonders for a moment if home is ever really meant to be a place, if maybe he’s at fault for making it a person. maybe if home was a place he wouldn’t feel so alone in his bunk at fox tower, without andrew by his side. he pushed the thought to the back of his head.

cass died. andrew needed time to himself, so he’s staying at the columbia house. he told neil to stay and neil listened. he understood how it felt to lose a mother, even if that mother wasn’t necessarily a good one. for a moment he allowed himself to mourn his own mother. 

his phone buzzed with a message. 

_hey, movie night in 10. you in?_

it’s dan. he feels a little less alone.

_be there in 5_

。 • ˚ ˚

“hey, buddy. how you feeling?” matt asked softly as he welcomed neil into his shared suite with nicky and aaron. dan and nicky are in the kitchen making popcorn, from the smell of it. aaron is gone for katelyn-related reasons.

“fine.” neil replies, instinctively. he frowns at himself, “i don’t know. not fine. tired.” he doesn’t say, _i wish andrew was here right now_. matt already knows.

“yeah, i figured.” matt hesitates for a moment too long before he asks, gently, “what happened? you never really told us what happened. dan and i just kind of assumed the worst.”

“he didn’t-“ neil tried. he tried again, “we’re not-“ and a third time, “we’re fine. it’s not about us. it’s not even about me. he needs space, and i understand that. he- i just- i miss him. we’re not- we’re still together he just needs to breathe and that’s okay! i just wish he could breathe with me, you know? it’s stupid. i feel so selfish for missing him so much when i understand why he’s not here. fuck! i completely understand. he can’t be here right now, and i know that and i still want-“ he curled his hands into tight fists at his sides. 

“can i hug you?” matt whispered, eyes wet and lips pulled into the smallest, tightest smile.

“yes. yeah, i’m-“ was all neil managed to say before matt crushed him into a hug with his big arms and pulled him _up up up_ and tight against his chest. matt sighed, “dude, you’re so tiny. you weigh nothing at all. i could carry you for hours.”

neil laughed softly into matt’s shoulder. “shut up, you giant.”

“honestly man, i’m not that tall. you’re fucking tiny! honestly.”

“ _shut up_!”

dan finally joined them in the living room, laughing at their clumsy brand of affection. she placed a big plastic bowl of buttery popcorn on the coffee table and smiled, “i want in on whatever this is.”

nicky appeared next, grinning from ear to ear, “me next! me next! boyd bear hugs are the fucking _best_.” neil quietly agreed. 

for the first time all day, he felt settled and right in his own skin. he felt _home_. maybe home was family.


	3. a dance of familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt thinks andrew and neil are perfect for each other. nicky has other ideas.
> 
> or, the foxes debate about neil and andrew’s relationship and matt is never wrong.

it was almost like a dance, matt decided one evening, as he watched andrew and neil in the kitchen. they moved around each other with a practiced ease, choreographed, really. 

neil stretched onto the tips of his toes into the cupboard for two bowls, andrew stabilized neil with a hand to his bare hip as he opened the drawer beside himself and retrieved the spoons. when neil turned around, bowls in hand, andrew spun away to produce two different cereal boxes. one, sugary with bright colors displayed proudly across it, and one dull with lots of fiber in a mostly brown box. neil held up the bowls, poised, and andrew poured in the cereal. neil set bowls on the counter and bent down to reach into the fridge for the milk. andrew splayed his fingers across the exposed skin of neil’s back, spoons in hand, waiting. neil poured in the milk. andrew placed the spoons. they danced around each other and made it to the breakfast bar, communicating through minuscule changes in their facial expressions.

“they’re made for each other- no, i swear, listen to me- _made for each other_.”

“matt,” nicky sighs, still a very strong believer of the ‘hate-sex’ theory, “buddy, you’re wrong.”

“no, nicky! i swear, they’re perfect for each other. it’s in everything they do- the way they move, the way they talk-“ matt looks to dan for assistance, and when she only offers him an amused grin, he sighs, “listen, i know we love to pretend that neil is our innocent child and he could never do wrong, but neil is fucked up. like, seriously, fucked up. in a different way than literally all of us. and his morals are skewed and guys- sometimes he says things so easily, bone chilling things, and he doesn’t even realize- he doesn’t even realize how fucked it is! and the only one here who understands that- who really understands him, besides renee, maybe, is andrew. andrew gets him. he gets andrew. and they don’t ever judge each other. not ever, not really. neil lets it slip sometimes, he never really gives me details on andrew, but the way he talks bout him. all warm and accepting and understanding. he gets andrew on an atomic level- i swear! they’re perfect for each other.”

“i’m just saying. andrew has eyes, neil is pretty. andrew is pretty, too, i guess, if you look past all the.. murder. and so they’re into each other. call it what you want, i call it hate-sex. andrew literally says ‘i hate you’ to neil every five seconds.” nicky argues, tilting his head.

matt sigh once more, “you don’t get it- andrew says it with like, fondness. it’s weird. but neil always gets this goofy smile when andrew says it- and i swear! i swear, one time, i saw andrew’s ears go all pink because neil said, ‘you know, every time you say that i believe you a little less.’ and andrew played it off, he said something like, ‘no one asked you.’ but the side of his mouth like, flinched- or or- twitched! like he was trying not to smile.”

“andrew doesn’t smile.” says allison.

renee tilts her head, expression serene. she doesn’t confirm nor deny, but there’s a mischievous twinkle in her eye like she knows more than she’s letting on. which, knowing renee, she always does.

“oh, come on, renee! spill! just this once, we won’t tell andrew or neil!” nicky pleaded.

renee shrugged sympathetically, “sorry, nicky. it’s not my place.”

“what’s not your place?” neil asks, returning from the roof, presumably. he smells a little bit like cigarettes and a little bit like a deodorant that isn’t his. nicky smirks at matt triumphantly.

“neil, my boy, i need you.” matt says, seriously. 

neil’s expression steels. it’s so strange to see it, the switch from matt’s best-friend-neil to matt’s best-friend-battle-mode-neil.

“it’s about andrew,” matt reassures, and neil’s face softens into something more palatable. “you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. but we’re- i’m just trying to understand you guys a little bit more. how you work.”

“oh,” neil says. “i dont- i don’t know. did you have a question? we just- do.”

“oh yeah, like you just ‘ask.’ honestly, neil, i’m starting to think all the other languages you know are taking up the space for english in your brain. do you even know what words mean?” nicky asks, a little mocking. he’s tipsy, and a little bit mean, due to the fact he’s been debating with matt for the past half-hour.

“nicky, i know what words mean.” neil replies, fondly. “it’s more like you don’t know what they mean. i’m not lying when i say i just  ask andrew.” he pauses to mumble something under his breath, “don’t ask for the truth if you’re just going to dilute it.” it sounds like something he’s said many times. maybe he has. “i ask andrew, and i don’t expect anything from him. it not like- i don’t deserve anything from him. don’t you get it? i accept what he gives me. i listen to him and i respect when he says no and when he says yes. i respect that he knows his own limits. and more than that, i trust him. he trusts me. so yeah, i  ask . and i don’t expect him to do anything he doesn’t want to. it helps that he’s got a soft spot for my _pretty face_ though, for sure.” neil says ‘pretty face’ sarcastically, but they all chose to ignore that so they can stare, slack-jawed at said pretty face.

and suddenly, they’re all stunned into silence. except renee, who is grinning, knowing and proud.

“i told you.” matt says, delighted. nicky looks affronted.

“you’re still wrong, though.” nicky says petulantly. “andrew does not smile.”

“less of a smile more of a smirk. fucking cocky asshole,” neil says fondly. “his laugh is way better, though.”

“you make andrew laugh?” nicky gasps.

“sometimes. usually not on purpose. he finds my stupidity hilarious and has said so on numerous occasions. it’s worth a little teasing to hear him laugh though. it’s a nice sound.”

“describe it.” dan encourages.

neil looks bashful, scuffing his shoes and blushing under his scars. “it’s like, a little huff. he snorts sometimes, but sometimes it’s just like a soft breath and a hum and it’s so soft- he’s just- he’s just pretty.”

“do you-“ allison starts, and she’s laughing already, “do you think aaron is pretty?”

“what? no. aaron’s an asshole. besides it’s not like that- like okay i recognize that andrew is attractive. definitely. very attractive, i mean have you seen his arms?” he clears his throat, “uhm anyway. but it’s different. i don’t really look at people like that. i can only look at andrew like that because i know him, and i trust him, you know? he’s- he’s safe. and i just think he’s pretty- but not completely because of how he looks- more like, because i know him and trust him, because he makes me feel safe. because of how he makes me feel.”

“nicky, i dare you to ever say the words ‘hate-sex’ again. after this? i fucking dare you.” allison said in a huff, shoving nicky’s knee. nicky melts into his chair.

neil scoffed, “that’s what you thought? you do understand that i don’t work that way, right? when i said ‘i don’t swing,’ i meant it. and i still don’t swing, really. it’s like- my swing is in andrew’s yard. i guess, that’s the easiest way to explain it.”

“or,” renee says, “you could use the word we talked about. demisexual.”

“right! yeah. i’m demisexual.” neil nods, and he’s smiling, but it looks a little nervous.

“oh, okay.” matt says. “can you explain what that means?”

“it’s like- i don’t really find people attractive if i don’t know them and trust them. attraction doesn’t work for me the way it does for you guys. maybe that’s because of my mom, or maybe that’s just how i am— but i don’t understand how anyone could have sex with someone they don’t already trust and i guess, feel for. i trust andrew, and i know him, and i feel for him. so it works, with him.” neil explains, flushed.

“by ‘it’, do you mean your dick?” nicky asks, laughing.

“wh- i mean, kinda? but no i just mean i’m attracted to him but because i have trust and feelings for him, i guess.”

“wait neil-“ matt starts, an epiphany striking him suddenly, “‘feelings for him?’ do you love andrew?”

“i-“ neil pauses, collecting his thoughts. “matt, i wasn’t raised to know what love is.”

“oh. oh im so sorry neil i didn’t mean-“

“let him finish.” renee chimed in.

“i wasn’t raised with it. so i don’t really know how to identify it, i don’t really know if i’m capable of love, to be honest. i care about andrew deeply. i’d kill for him. i’d defend him with everything i have. and i trust him with all that i am. and i want him as long as he’ll have me, and i want him to trust me, always. if that’s what love is, then yes. i love andrew.”

“fucking ‘hate-sex.’” allison muttered. nicky melts into his chair further.

“that’s maybe the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard neil say and it was about andrew fucking minyard.” dan whispered.

“guys,” matt sighs, dreamy and heavenly. “you gotta accept that i’m just never wrong.” nicky wacks him over the head enthusiastically.


End file.
